Up in smoke

I should have done my research instead of letting my hopes set me up for dissapointment. I should have Googled "Cala's Manchester" or "Alchemy Gloucester." Maybe then I would have at least known that the chef/owner of Blue Smoke is known for some pretty mediocre fare.

But I didn't. I held on to my fantasy that the new joint in Hamilton was destined to be the replacement for The Salt Box, now gone two years. Three days ago, I walked into the two-month old restaurant and grabbed a menu. Cool, I thought, here was a small, stylish restaurant offering an interesting take on barbeque and comfort food. I was thinking East Coast Grille meets The Fireplace.

Well, Dorothy, you're not in Brookline anymore.

Let's start with the positives:
1. Cakebread Sauvignon Blanc by the glass.
2. Comfortable bar with a large screen TV.
3. Ran into Ian and had a few laughs about a goofy catering gig we did together this past Mother's Day.

As is pretty usual on a Saturday night out for us, we sat at the bar. The Sox were on and the dining room was booked, so it all worked out.

Things did not start well.
I ordered a Kir Royale which was served flat.

We ordered a round of appetizers: Buffalo Wings, Young Mountain Lamb Skewers and Big Eye Tuna Tataki.

One of my all time favorite foods is Buffalo Wings. They are also desperately difficult to find executed well around here. My gold standard are the wings at Buff's Pub in Newton. What Blue Smoke was serving was *not* a true Buffalo style wing. Sure, they had plenty of heat, but the wings were coated in a more asian-style glaze. The prerequisite bleu cheese dressing came across as more ranch-ish.

The Lamb Skewers were billed as a take on the Thai staple, satay. The lamb was over cooked and lacked distinct flavor. The peanut sauce was served cold and could have benefited from a warm up. The rare tuna was fine, but curiously shared the same accompanying cucumber spaghetti as the lamb satay.

When we ordered the 1/2 rack of baby back ribs, the wheels fell off the wagon. We ordered the beef ribs with the recommended Sugar Cane Bourbon sauce, or "wet mop," with sides of baked beans, mac and cheese, and coleslaw. Blue Smoke was kind enough to throw in a mealy watermelon wedge.

The ribs were, in a word, disgusting. When the plate arrived I knew we were in trouble. See, my parents moved to Virginia Beach (my Dad works for the Navy) a number of years ago, so we've feasted on good BBQ, both in VA and NC.

What is being served at Blue Smoke is the cliched New England interpretation of BBQ that is an over-smoked, over-sauced, glistening brown raft of mystery meat.

And the ribs were served cold, which seems to be a problem at Blue Smoke.

When we notified the bartender that the ribs were awful AND cold, she offered to " blast them" - a reference I took to mean that she would be happy to microwave them.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

I will say this: the Vermont Cheddar Mac and Cheese was very smooth, creamy and quite delectable. The Baked Beans were pedestrian (can anybody beat Stone Soup Cafe's?), the Cole Slaw was high on crunch, low on comfort.

I was ready to call it a night, but Adgurl wanted to soldier on through dessert. She ordered the New York Cheesecake as I was wincing. As anticipated, it arrived a dry, curdled,over-lemoned mess. Nevermind New York, I've had better from friggin' Alden Merrill.

What was most infuriating about the whole experience is that the bar staff seemed absolutely ill-equipped to handle constructive criticism. In fact, even though we barely touched the ribs, they were left on the bill. While we were exceedingly polite in our feedback about the food, it was as if we were pariahs. Customers known to the bartenders were fawned upon, and we were left sitting with plates full of food, obviously dis-satisfied, with no remedy offered.

Later the Sox would lose to the Indians 13-6. It was just that kind of night.