Saturday, December 22, 2007

Indigo and don't come back

Time to come clean. I love Gordon Ramsay and especially love his BBC series: Kitchen Nightmares. I also very much like the FOX version, yet it's too censored.

I have never found Ramsay to be over-the-top or abusive. In kitchens, there is fire, gas lines, very sharp objects. Really --one screw up could sicken a customer or some one could get hurt.. It's very serious biz.

I learned food and service from two kinds of chefs:
1. Drug-or-alcohol-addled-whack-jobs
2. Intense perfectionist obsessive teachers/gurus

I have had Coquilles-St.-Jacques thrown at me, in the kitchen, because chef was on a coke binge. I worked with men who for all intents and purposes were indentured servants to an owner who had caught them stealing 15 years ago. I did an afternoon service with a chef who burned his arm so severely because of someone else's mistake, he was forever disfigured. Yet he continued service for the lunch before he went to the hospital.

That was the lowlands. Later, I ascended to fine dining.

I was service. Not a chef, not a saucier-- I was front of house. Later, I trained and became a sommelier. And in watching , I learned how to cook. And how to serve.

At Icarus, we took orders by memory. Not pen on paper. Why? Because it clearly demonstrates that your server is locked in, professional and not thinking about some other bullshit. That, and it's just plain impressive.


Ok, so...

Adgurl and I moved to Ipswich in 2002. The restaurants that were here then are mostly gone. All with reason.

Adgurl and I came from Brookline Village at a time when it was becoming a real hotbed of cuisine. Regardless, we could hop a taxi or walk down the street and find dining comfort. Not to mention that we both traveled a lot: Manhattan, San Fran, etc.

We have not been prepared for what has happened up here in Essex county in terms of dining options in the last year. In fact, we have become victim of our aspirations and standards; a sad testament to what we *hoped* would be a shining, much needed addition to the 1A scene.

As stated in an earlier blog entry, we thought Blue Smoke, now Indigo Bar and Grill, would fill the bill.

At least they've been consistent. Unfortunately it's been consistently bad.

This night, our strategy was to give them the best possible opportunity to succeed: don't order anything "cutting edge" and let's see how they get the basics.

1. Caesar salad, small portion
2. Beer battered haddock with french fries and slaw
3. Meatloaf with veal, ground Kobe beef, and sweet pork with whipped potatoes, roasted carrots and red zinfandel pan gravy and garlic aioli

We also ordered Cakebread SB by the glass. I'm convinced we got a Chard.

Caesar comes. Dead, brown lettuce bits throughout. Shame, I like the hot garlicky well -anchovied dressing.

Haddock: so dark a crust as to suggest they haven't changed the oil in a dog's age. Fish is flaky but un-seasoned, fried crust has uncooked doughy parts throughout. Why put hot condensing fish on top of crisp, nice french fries?

Meatloaf: this was an abortion. Two patee slices of mystery meat -too light to be considered meatloaf and too unflavored to be considered patee, gooey red sauce that was congealed and set, a garlic puree that was another blob of goo. But the mashed were fine. The carrots were fit for livestock, halved and BURNED on the flat side. When I tried to get a fork in them, they resisted. My God, the bottoms were BLACK.

When I explained to "Jules" the bartender that the meatloaf was not good, her response was:
" But people rave about this!!!"

I then went on to show her that the giant carrots were burned and tough and she exclaimed, " "But they're SUPPOSED to be like that!!!"

What? Has suburbia become so Velveeted that we confuse burnt food with carmalization? Or are we calling them Blackened Carrots now?

And since when has it become standard operating procedure to ARGUE with a customer?

The way I was trained, one wouldn't even allow a giant black carrot to be seen by a customer. And if chef ever tried to convince me that burnt was the new medium rare, I'd hit him on the side of the head with a pan and tell him that it was the new "love tap."

What is wrong with these people?

5 comments:

PleasureCooker said...

Well, at least you were kind enough to give them a second shot. You are a far better person than I.

PleasureCooker said...

... oh yeah, I was sitting at a random bar in Beverly and overheard two sweet looking ladies mention Indigo Grill. They said they read your review as well as mine. It was one of the few times I heard a stranger talk about my web site.

They also mentioned the place sucked and they wish they saw the reviews before the went.

I silently slugged my beer back and chuckled.

Resto-Raver said...

Resto Ranter is a tool! Pull your head out of your ass. Like you could even attempt that fare. Where can you find decent bbq on the north shore that isnt a dive or a chain? I eat there alot and enjoy the change of pace.

Resto-Ranter said...

Well, Raver, you are right. I would not even attempt to create such fare (read:crap) that passes for good food at Indigo. In terms of the BBQ issue, it's apparent you've never spent any time in the Carolinas, Texas, Kansas--or any where south of the Mason-Dixon line. Either that or your tongue transplant wasn't exactly a success. Calling what Indigo offers as BBQ is akin to serving toilet water and calling it a "Dirty Martini." Glad you found your new yummy spot, however. And thanks for the comment. BTW- do I get to select exactly *what* tool I am?

Anonymous said...

SInce you have nothing nice to say about anything, your 'reviews' are actually worthless. Just an excuse to vent you bile. Pathetic.

Oh and don't bother responding. I won't be back to read it.